Picking up girls on social media is not exactly the classiest thing ever. But if you’re hopelessly shy and you just can’t bring yourself to confess your love to a girl face to face, sending her a love message on social media might be the best choice for you. One time out of ten, it could even work out. Here are some tips for you gentlemen (or gentlewomen) that decided to take this approach.
1) It’s better if you already know each other
First, when you want to declare your love to a girl, it is implied that there’s already some sort of connection between you two. If not, it would be kind of weird. In fact, if you pop out of nowhere and send her a love message, she won’t take it seriously and will assume that you’re actually in love with her pictures. Therefore, avoid being a total creep by establishing a relationship with the girl beforehand. Get to know each other a little for a few months by chatting or talking on the phone, make her feel comfortable with you. And then, go ahead and confess your love to her.
2) Focus on more than her appearance
As a girl, nothing turns you off more than a “hey, you beautiful :)” sent by some random guy on the Internet. Flattering based only on her looks is to be avoided completely, because you’re giving off the impression that you’re objectifying her, and that you only like her because she’s pretty to look at. If you want to win her heart, compliment her intellectual qualities and skills. If she’s a good artist, compliment her art. If she’s funny, compliment her sense of humor. If she’s a caring, nice, strong woman, write that you love that about her.
3) Be sincere
We’re not going to give you samples about how to compose a love message, because it should be something very personal that comes from your soul. So – and this will sound very cheesy – be yourself: it’s you who you want her to fall in love with, not someone else. Be transparent when you express your feelings, try not to use cringy, cliché phrases taken out of a Twilight book, and show your true colours right from the start.
4) Don’t be persistent
Be a decent human being and have some good manners. So, if your love interest is clearly not into you, leave her alone and accept the fact that she refused your advances. Don’t freak her out by harassing her constantly by forcing her to acknowledge your feelings, because you’ll only make her feel anxious, paranoid and unsafe. Fend off those serial killer vibes by exercising a little bit of social awareness and picking up the signals: when you send her messages she ghosts you (ignores you), she briefly answers with a “thank you” but doesn’t want to engage in a conversation, or she flat out tells you to stop being annoying.
5) Avoid being submissive
Be kind and respectful, but keep your dignity. Women generally don’t want to be in a relationship with a passive, spineless, subdued white knight. Don’t treat her “like a queen”, don’t put her on a pedestal: simply view her as an equal to you. Treat her like a normal human being, and she will appreciate it more.
6) Good grammar and form
Last but not least, consider the form of your text. Grammar can make or break a love message: put the effort in when writing, show how much you love the girl by gracing her with nice words, good spelling and correct grammar. If you don’t care about it, then she will think that you’re not even trying. You could be the sweetest guy\girl on earth, but if you don’t know how to express yourself properly, she will be put off by you. Of course, if you intend to write a poem style love confession, you’ll have the poetic license to change the form however you please. Being good at writing won’t make every girl throw herself at your feet, but it helps a lot.
To recap
DOs:
– create a connection prior to declaring your love
– compliment her intellectual qualities
– be yourself
– know when to let her go if she’s not interested
– treat her as an equal
– use correct form and grammar
DON’Ts:
– approach her when you don’t even know each other
– “send bob and vagene”
– praise her appearance
– use someone else’s words when confessing
– keep on harassing her if she’s not into you
– be subservient
– write poorly